Weather Reports at Gunpoint
The humble, nay banal weather report is spiced up as the presenters perform in front of a live firing squad. Little do they know, the machine guns are harmless water pistols but if they get the weather wrong, their next of kin are married off to Nazi war criminals. Will they crack and blurt out “Typhoon in Bromley!”?
Raped by William Shatner
The former Star Trek big cheese and an excitable contestant are locked in a derelict hospital. Capt Kirk shuffles around, buggering popular songs in his inimitable dementia inducing spoken word style. Can the contestant avoid their mind from unraveling and find the Spock Ears of Freedom, avoiding the inevitable scat rape frenzy? Not if the viewers get their way – they can give Bill clues by pressing the red button on their sky remote. Like an interactive Deal or No Deal with non consensual raunch.
Beatbox Bingo Bonanza
Bingo numbers are announced urban style by street yoofs. “Yo, all the one’s bra bra bra!” and “Oh my gosh, 6!” for example. Instead of shouting “House!” the elderly winners have to do the worm up to the announcers’ podium. Prizes include a street tagged caravan and a years subscription to Channel U, Home of Grime.
Heston Blunenthal gets Crunk!
Famed experimental Michelin star dinner man Heston gets fucked up on crack and liquid nitrogen to produce some truly twisted lunatic recipes or ‘outlandishes’. Giraffe eyes with Apartheid Mash, Monotheism vs. Egg, Cheesy Swan Aorta and TexMex Tears.
You can smell the house prices rising.
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