Imagine a striking picture of a sunrise behind dramatic clounds over the bay of a spectacular promenade. That's the photograph I took that my bastard computer won't let me upload. There's no penises on it or anything.
Anyway, I emailed it to pip@itv.com because she told me to on a weather report. I accompanied it with the following message:
"Dear Pip
Please find attached a photo I recently took on my mobile of a delicious sunrise. It reminded me of you, because you are tasty.
Please display my photo on your next weather report, which might I add are always excellent, sexy and fun.
I love two things. You and Motley Crue. If you love me, read my name out as Troy and pronounce 'Isle of Man' a bit like ' I love man'.
Yours achingly,
Tony"
I'll keep watching to see if they broadcast my picture and if Pip wants my rod. I'll keep you posted and advise if the police investigate me. Anyway, the jokes on Pip as I took the photo months ago while drunk. Take that, the man.
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