Ou et le Horny?

This here is a stirring piece of highly sexed metaphysical schlock rock balladry. A sex blast for the ears entitled 'Ou et le Horny?'. It's semi autobiographical regarding a love tryst of mine with a half Spanish, half Welsh peasant girl.

(Atmospheric carnal synthesizer intro)

Verse
I can't stop lovin' your face and boobs
Your lips and hips really get me in the mood
You know the prudes they say we're crude
But we're just nude and we love to get rude! Yeah!

Pre chorus
Woah oh baby! Woah yeah! You're drivin' me crazy!
I can't get you outta my head
I'm gonna stuff your muffin until I'm half dead!

Chorus
I don't wanna sound too corny (too corny)
But please tell me ou et le horny? ( le horny?)
Yeah! Wow! Yeah! Aow!
x2

Breakdown
Break it down now!
Ou et? Ou et? Yeah! Oui!
Ou et? Ou et? Sacre bleu!
Ou et? Ou et? Tu? Me?
Ou et? Ou et? Ou et le horny?!

Verse
Where did it go wrong? Are we too sexy?
When you touch my dong I do a sex wee!
I'll take you down to big O town (I'll take you down)
I'll take you down no time to frown (I'll take you down)

Zut alors! I love you on all fours
I'm a dawg you're a cat I love it when you lick your paws. Yeah!
Like cosmic sex gods you love my sex rod
And you know we get applause! So c'mon!

Fin

I hate and fear technology because I don't understand it.

Having said that, porn is much more easily available these days.

Toofast says right on, right on erotic comedy murder sister! It's friday so get ready for 'The Raunch'.

The Path to World Domination?

Can surely only be truly obtained through the age old tradition of drug fuelled rock debauchery. To that end, I shall crawl up the filthy, crooked trail of the music business, regularly naked, on all fours, in varying degrees of leather, honking and baying like a cocksure alpha male hippopotamus straddling armed crack whores and disgruntled disabled children alike. The moniker for my "band", or more accurately, "global sauce bag musical sex apes" will likely be one of the following:

The Honky Tonk Douchebags
Nick and the Bitch
Kickface
Long Lost Cock Slap
The Destructo Behemoths
The Chili Dogs
Son Rapes Dad
The Facials
Cheese Hammer
The Wu Tang Grans
Semi Naked Glaze
Hot Sugar
The Saucy Haunches
Chin of Chuck
Isle of Man Face Kicking Sex Bastard Motorcycle Club
The Toxic Suck Off

Keep your eyes glued to the local toilet circuit for the first sweaty glimpses of my chosen vehicle of bass heavy raunchy muso power swagger. Take the facial if you want to be more than a footnote in the diabolical beginnings of the planets most erotic despots. \m/

It was a graveyard smash!

'Monster Mash' is a brilliant song. That is all.

Anselm-o's

Stumbled across this bad boy on a typically whining Download Festival forum. Anselm-o's. It'll give you a Mouth for War! Make sure you Drag the Milk (waters) for pentagram marshmellows! Yeah, that's about the limit of my Pantera pun skills today.

Can anyone tell me who the hell David is?
Check out that baby's quiff. Looks like Corey Haim singing in the bath in The Lost Boys. "I ain't got a job!" Anyway, it's a shame he's dead now. RIP (possibly) 80's champion.