“Stop it, zombie Mozart!” screamed Mr T in vein as he tried to stop MacGuyver having his face chewed off by an undead postman.
“Oh no! It’s zombie Gary Glitter and he’s headed straight for that primary school! Possibly.” Uttered Professor Richard Dawkins with incredulity, due to Glitter perhaps being religious.
“Suck on these slick shoes, you filthy ravenous beasts!” was the proud call of Data from The Goonies. He saw Sloth eat his own mother that morning and that ruined his chances of going steady with the ginger one from Girls Aloud.
All Simon Cowell’s reanimated corpse could gurgle was “Atrocious”. This really got to Rolf Harris. His wobble board was doing fuck all against the zombie hordes but he could paint up the lady cadavers real pretty. This fired up Emilio Estevez and the cast of Lost Boys so much that they decapitated The Kooks. They weren’t even zombies, just twats.
Somewhere dark, and cock snappingly evil something terrible happened. Zombie Jessica Fletcher had turned Indiana Jones, Mad Max and David Attenborough within the hour. Now Nazis, British criminals and exotic rare animals the world over were rising from the grave, hungry for camel toes and the flesh of the living!
Hooked on this thrilling suspense filled world class tale of terror? Rich executive Hollywood types get in touch now for more. Adventures will be considered in lieu of cash payment.
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