Long Thyme Know Sea

I haven't posted anything on here in over a year.  Why not?  Is it because:

• I'm so disgusted that Colin Smugtwat Farrell will be fisting my memories of Total Recall? (and Kate Beckinsdale as the hot Latino chick? Fuck RIGHT off)
• I've been in prison for aggravated duck rape? (Christopher was asking for it, the way he dressed on my birthday)
• I'm unemployed and having an early mid-life crisis and had blood in my semen once?

Soon, I'll answer all these questions and more as long as I don't die by asphyxy-wanking on a hill to Tulisa's sex tape.  Probably.  (I promise nothing.)

High fives and trouser love,
Tony Toofast (king of brackets)
x