You have to hand it to the Americans. In the midst of the world’s greatest depression for 60 years, they only go and blow $100 trillion (approx figures) at Superbowl XLIII.
To open things up, they inexplicably had not one, but two gurning divas belting out Team America style uber ballads at biological weaponry decibel levels, complete with a full gospel choir.
Then for a simple coin toss, they had a USA Army General, so over-decorated he looked like a Benny Hill character, do it. His toss was so weak, I couldn’t stop hearing the theme tune playing in my head and him dropping his trousers before saluting and chasing cheerleaders around, stumbling occasionally on pom-poms. I was fully expecting a 21 gun salute. Then a fleet of Red Devil style airplanes made a pass.
The half time entertainment came in the form of patriotic-Americaner-than-thou Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. The highlight being Paulie from The Sopranos wailing on guitar. The Boss ran and leapt into a (sadly choreographed) knee slide and rammed his crotch into a camera. There were about a dozen band members including the bald guy from The David Letterman Show on piani, and the return of the gospel choir, but none stood out more than the guy bizarrely dressed like a wizard hammering his funk through a saxophone and later, a solitary cow bell. At an almost constant rate, the sky was lit up with fireworks rivaling those of the opening ceremony to the Beijing 2008 Olympics, bringing an Apocalypse Now feeling of dread to the occasion.
Oh yeah, and some bearded men ran around with a ball. Stopping eight times a minute to debate every single play. It’s a game of four 15 minute quarters, but the BBC gave it more than 4 hours coverage. The ultra stats constantly being pounded into my eyeballs made me feel like Alex in A Clockwork Orange. I was so wired after watching the first twenty minutes, I had to watch it all. Well, I made it to the end of the 3rd quarter. It was like spraying liquid crack into my corneas after running a marathon dressed as a waterbed.
So, what about the entertainment for Superbowl XLIV? Fire nukes into the Moon? Suspend the arena in mid air by Chinooks and Blimps? Exhume the corpse of Elvis and have him jam with The Monkees using tiny robots?
No comments:
Post a Comment