Big Brother on friday night. I witnessed a ultra tanned stout wise guy and a robotic lady of indiscernible age indulge in the most awkward foreplay man has ever known. It was like watching your parents get jiggy. Imagine your parents pounding away at it. Then them catching you watching and then you all high five each other.
The portly goombah turned the robo dame on by half singing/half humming Total Eclipse of the Heart in a strange high pitched yelp. A bit like a comatose altar boy mid nightmare. After spanking the lovedroid, tons of fun took it to the bed and actually in real life said "I'm just dipping my custard cream into this hot, juicy tea.".
Juicy tea?! Not even Scouse porn would use that line. Then they kissed, both with mouths full of chewed biscuit. Like they were softening food up for each other with added slobbering tongue.
There's one answer to the problem of the self obsessed BB contestant shitbags: Release angry, hungry, horny tigers into the house. Then machine-gunning Nazis. Then Tony Jaa so he can flying knee the douches. Then an Indiana Jones crushing ceiling. Then scorpions. I'd love to see that.
1 comment:
Can we start it all off with the morning pesto explosion all over the sleeping miscreants?
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